When the director of a national agency talks about the cost of child care, she jokes that parents should send their 2-year-olds to college.
"It would be cheaper," said Linda Smith, director of the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies.
In 43 states--including Virginia--a year at a child-care center costs more than a year of tuition and fees at a four-year college. Most families pay more for child care than for food or rent, according to the national group.
Child-care costs in the United States went up 7 percent last year, twice the rate of inflation.
"It's a huge problem," Smith said. "We're stressing young families out beyond belief in this country."
Rates for day-care centers in the Fredericksburg area vary, but average $165 a week for babies and $127 a week for preschoolers.
For a family of four--with two kids in a center and both parents working--child care can eat up 20 percent of annual income, according to The Childcare Network in Fredericksburg.
"It takes a huge chunk of your paycheck," said Dana Olson, a Stafford County resident who was thrilled when her only child started kindergarten this fall.
Add a mortgage, which usually takes about 30 percent of income, and half the money made by working parents goes to taking care of the kids and keeping a roof over their heads.
"I'm just shocked," said Linda Thomas, a Spotsylvania County mother who was able to stay home with her son until he went to school. "I had no idea it was that much."
Child care is labor-intensive. Many centers are open 12 hours a day, five days a week. People who care for children in their homes tend to keep even longer hours.
"If you look at it at an hourly rate, you're not paying an outrageous amount," said Sharon Veatch, executive director of the Virginia Child Care Resource and Referral Network. "But it is significant if you're only making $8 or $10 an hour."
A SHARED RESPONSIBILITY?
Fauquier County has the highest rates in the region: an average of $206 a week for a baby. If an infant is at a center for 50 hours a week, its parents end up paying $4.12 an hour. And that's for a state-licensed, federally accredited facility that must adhere to strict adult-to-child ratios.
Nikki Eshelman, a teacher in Stafford County, pays more than that for a neighborhood teen to watch her boys when she and her husband go out for dinner.
"If you had to pay for day care by the hour, no one could afford it," she said.
Child-care advocates point out that day-care workers make low wages because centers have to cover the full cost of operation. They stress that the first five years of a child's development are the most critical, and they believe the government should subsidize day care, just as it does college costs and public education.
"What we need to figure out in this country is how do we have a shared responsibility between the public and private sector?" she asked. "Parents don't want a handout, but they do need some kind of help on this one because it's so expensive."
'BEING TORN'
Army Sgt. 1st Class Gregory Moundine and his wife, Sharon, are expecting their third child in December and had a decision to make.
Could they afford two children in day care? Or was most of the money she makes as a bank teller going toward child-care expenses?
Moundine, a Spotsylvania resident and active-duty soldier for 18 years, didn't expect this dilemma. His sister-in-law took care of their kids until she moved to Philadelphia.
As the couple looked into prices of centers and home providers, they got an education.
"For the first time it hit me: This is how much day care is," he said. "I was shocked."
The Moundines got lucky. They found a retired woman who will care for their two older children, ages 4 and 11, in their home for $75 a week, well under the local average.
The Moundines will take the baby to a different in-home provider. Things will be tight, but Sharon Moundine will continue working, and she and her husband hope they won't have to dip into savings to pay the monthly bills.
"It's crazy out here," Gregory Moundine said. "Corporate America is getting rich, and the middle class and lower class are getting poorer."
Thomas, the Spotsylvania mother, recognizes the emotional and financial agony parents go through. She recently went back to work at an after-school program, and she hears a lot of parents complain about the availability and cost of care.